Just For Today I Will Not Worry…

This one of the five Reiki agreements — easier said than done. I grew up in a house hold with a mother who worried about everything. I learned early on that if I didn’t worry about things and hang onto them tightly with both fists, something bad might happen! I watched my mom go through anguish with a broken heart as a child. This didn’t allow me to feel safe. Her chronic worrying soon manifested into several physical symptoms! Now she wishes in hindsight, she hadn’t worried so much.

Once a belief system, (regardless of how useless it is) has a hold on you —it’s challenging to let it go. We need to look at how that system isn’t working for us VS how it is. Ask yourself, “What am I getting out of worrying?” If you can’t let it go, perhaps you are benefiting in some other way? Attention seeking, victim mindset, impatience or manipulation? Get honest with yourself around the truth of this old belief.

Here are some of the reasons you may feel worrying benefits you:

You believe worrying is problem solving, when in fact it’s putting you into a scarcity mindset and holding you back from the opportunities the Universe has in store for you.

You feel that you may be protecting your emotional state, yet it’s fueling the fires for a breakdown or anxiety attack. It’s keeping you stuck in a negative cycle.

Worst case scenario thinking! You may think you’re more emotionally prepared for that outcome and you’ll probably experience less of an emotional impact — but you actually avoid the stark contrast of feeling happy and then suddenly feeling bad. This is called emotional contrast avoidance. So in a way, it makes sense that we would rather just “play it safe” and keep our emotional guard up indefinitely — so if we never get our hopes up, we can never be disappointed, right? “After all, bad things could happen at any time, so best to stay prepared!” declares the worrier.

But there is a price to pay regarding worrying about everything. You can NEVER feel joyful in this state. You miss out on the opportunity to be grateful for what is in each moment. This belief fosters other negative beliefs like, “happiness is unsafe”. Worrying keeps you in future thinking and to be honest, most of the things we worry about never happen! So is it worth all of the potential physical damage?

As a child/student of a worrier, I have had to unlearn and let go of these beliefs. I’m here to tell you, it’s possible and joy is waiting for you. In fact it’s never left you because it is our innate state of being. The cloud of worry just keeps it covered. So what are some things you can do to help you uncover and find joy?

Write out your feelings. Getting our worries out on paper can help you to take a more logical look at what is going on. Stream of consciousness writing also helps us to move through our emotions and give them a place to live outside of the body. It can help you to see the truth in your thoughts VS buying into the feelings and holding onto the lies.

Talk to a professional. Reaching out for counselling or coaching can be scary but so freeing. Sometimes we need more help! Don’t be too hard on yourself — longstanding and well-rehearsed thought patterns can be very difficult to change on your own. But you CAN change.

Learn to TRUST in your ability to cope with negative events if they happen. “If” something bad does happen, remember that you’ll be better equipped to deal with it if you’re coming from a place of emotional well-being, rather than a state of anxiety and pessimism. You’ll also probably be more open-minded about trying out solutions.

Other solutions are breath work, meditation, Reiki and even getting out to exercise can help curb the worries! All of these modalities allow you to be in the moment. Worry cannot exist in the present state! So, hard schedule in some time for self care by treating yourself to a class, appointment or taking time out to just breathe. It gets easier… and you will may even love the way it makes you feel!

Ultimately you will need to face your fears. By allowing yourself to relax and let your guard down, and to let yourself feel emotionally vulnerable you can choose not to worry… take it one day at a time…. “Just for today I will not worry…” Remember, it sometimes takes courage to be happy.

You. Are. Worthy.